Conning Iron Man
by WhatASlyDog
Summary: The Brothers Bloom have a new mark: Tony Stark.
1. Chapter 1

The Mark: The one and only Anthony Stark

The Con:

"I feel like this is a bad idea. I feel like stealing from a guy who can literally punch us with fists made out of iron is a bad idea," said Bloom.

"Yeah, well," muttered Stephen in response, not looking up from the pages of plans spread out in front of him. "Technically, it's a titanium alloy so we're probably safe."

"Stephen."

The man looked up, finally. "If we do our jobs right, he'll never even know we conned him. That's what I'm doing here, Bloom, I'm trying to get us not punched. Could you pass me that pen?" Bloom did. "We've done this before. We've done this a thousand times before. It's under control, okay, Bloom. Don't worry."

"God, I hate these conferences," said Stephen, sitting down at the bar next to his mark and loosening his tie. "One highball, please."

"Tell me about it," said Tony, who was nursing his second drink of the afternoon.

"At least the open bar sort of makes up for it."

Tony chuckled. "Keeping the bar stocked is the only way my assistant can make me come to these things. Glad I'm not the only one enjoying it."

Stephen laughed with him. "And here I thought you just liked hearing yourself talk."

"Well, you're not the first," Tony took another sip from his drink.

"I don't think I properly introduced myself." He extended a hand towards Tony. "Dr. Stephen Bloom, Nuclear Physicist."

"Tony Stark. Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Bloom."

"That was a great speech up there. You sure know how to work a crowd."

Tony ordered another drink. "Comes with the territory."

"I bet. Sometimes…"

"Hm?"

"Sometimes you remind me a lot of Howard Stark. Same charisma, same way with the ladies. New golden age for Stark Tech, but still that same captain at the helm, y'know. I bet he's proud, wherever he is."

The next drink went quicker and was followed with a stronger one. Stephen was only on his second, Tony was making his way onto his fifth.

Tony was a quiet drunk. Stephen had been surprised by that. The more he drunk, the less he said until his one word responses dissolved into grunts and then silence. Stephen had to help him home which had not surprised him. Nor, really, had the leggy blonde assistant who rushed out of the building to help the staggering billionaire back in. The last surprise of the night was how easy it was to convince her to get coffee with him the next morning but that had been a pleasant one.

There were a five cafeterias in Stark Tower available to staff and their guests as well as two Starbucks and a mom and pop café within two blocks radius. Pepper, as she had insisted he call her, took him to the 22nd floor. Tony loves his coffee and he insists upon the best coffee, she told him. The five hundred dollar cappuccino machine outside his office may not be the best in the city but it was definitely the best above 22nd street.

Pepper liked to talk. Not because she liked the sound of her own voice, not because she was afraid of what other people would say if she gave them the chance, more because she didn't do it enough. She spoke quickly like someone who was used to being interrupted. She had picked up the habit of talking until she ran out of breath or until she had long lost her train of thought. Most of what she had to say was largely inane and she meandered a great deal but she did talk about Tony some. She was in love with him, that much was obvious very quickly, but she was far from blind to his faults. She complained about being overworked and underappreciated and stressed. She complained a great deal.

"How is he?"

"Well…hungover, I expect."

"Wait…he's _here_?" whispered Stephen, feigning shock. "I just figured. I mean, he did drink a lot last night."

Pepper snorted. "It's not the first time. Trust me."

Stephen smiled. "So tell me more about your sister, Rebecca…"

For a con like this one, for one so massive, it's important not only to install yourself in the life of your mark but those around him. When Stephen left Stark Tower, he forgot his cell phone.


	2. Chapter 2

Stephen didn't care for New York much. He didn't care for the crowds, the general dinginess of the place nor the faint but ever present smell of piss that clung to the air. He wandered for a couple of hours, bought a magazine, read it on a park bench, and wandered some more. Apparently, Taylor Swift had broken up with another teenaged pop sensation and someone named Snooki was pregnant. He made his way back to Stark Tower around noon. Security remembered him from earlier but they still had to call up to Pepper to see if it was okay if he came upstairs. It was.

"Didn't expect to see you so soon," said Pepper, coyly.

Stephen rewarded her with a laugh. "I think I forgot my phone here earlier. Have you seen it?"

Pepper looked around. Her desk was a bit fuller than when he's left but anything out of place would have been obvious. She stood up, looking around her desk. "Hm." Stephen followed suit being careful to avoid the cabinet under which he had slid it that morning. There was a loud click as a door shut behind him. Stephen turned around in time to see Pepper snap upright, back unnaturally straight.

"Afternoon, Mr. Stark," she said.

"Tony! Hey!" said Stephen.

Confusion flickered over Tony's face. "Doctor Bloom, right? What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting my friend, Pepper, here."

Tony 's confusion flashed quickly to suspicion and then a warm smile. The whole thing happened so fast Stephen couldn't be sure he hadn't imagined it. "Well, any friend of Pepper's is a friend of mine. Plus I already know you make a good drinking buddy. Lunch?" He looked from Stephen to Pepper and back again. Pepper seemed to relax a bit.


	3. Chapter 3

The restaurant Tony had led them to gave the impression that it had once been very nice but had passed its prime a long time ago. The lighting was dim, either for the atmosphere or because most of the light bulbs had burned out. There was a fragile-looking man with a few last wispy, white hairs clinging to his head, playing something that sounded vaguely jazzy on a deep red piano crammed into the corner. The place was not terribly busy for the time of day and a young man showed them to a table near a window almost immediately.

Tony appeared to be absorbed in deep thought as they were led to their table. Then suddenly he broke out of his reverie with a smile, "Ah, 'Round about Midnight'."

"Hm?" said Stephen.

"The song. It's 'Round about Midnight'. This is why I love this place. Great food and better music. And all the musicians are old enough to have been there when it was written."

Pepper ordered a salad. Stephen ordered Salmon. Tony ordered a steak and two bottles of Malbec for the table. Wine, he said, nothing like a good glass of wine with lunch to get the creative juices flowing. It sounded oddly imprecise coming from him; there was no summary of the way under stimulated synapses can increase stress, no extolling the virtues of the antioxidants, especially for residents of urban environments. However, it seemed very well practiced and convincing nonetheless. Midway through the second glass, it was easier to remember details from the night before and by the end of it they were recounting the story of Dr. Khan's disastrous speech on nanotechnology for Pepper, whose cheeks had gone a bit rouge and who was laughing heartily with them.

Tony was laughing so hard he had to put his glass down and wipe tears from the corners of his eyes. "Oh god, it was like an episode of Doctor Who. None of it made any sense."

By the third glass, Stephen was pitching him his project. "You see all you'd have to do is attach it on the bottom of the secondary repulsors, assuming, I do my job right, which I always do, and you'd be able to-"

"Fly underwater," Pepper said, looking slightly dazed. "You're a genius. Tony, this guy is a genius."

"That he is. One thing though, water."

"I'm sorry?"

"The suit's not airtight."

"Oh, well that's easy to fix," said Stephen leaning back in his chair.

Tony smiled. "Okay, you'll work in my lab. Stark Tower has ten floors of R&D. It's an absolute playground. You'll love it."

"I prefer to work in my own lab, thanks. I'm fully equipped for this type of project already. I just need the funding."

Tony's smile faltered slightly and he wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Okay. Half now, half after I see the finished product. How much is this going to run me?"

"I'd say ten million, just to be safe."

"Jesus."

"Hey, it's underwater flight."

"It's swimming," said Tony. "Fine. It's not like I don't have the money and what better way to use it then investing in good talent, right?" He raised his glass. "To a very profitable relationship."

"Hear, hear."


	4. Chapter 4

Stephen disappeared after that. Not completely, of course. He was still reachable by phone on Monday through Wednesday from two to four. Tony kept tabs on him at first but after a month, the calls petered out and were replaced with e-mails.

_Hey Stephen,_

_Just checking in. I was thinking about what you said about the chest repulsor. I think we could offset the kickback if we transfer the excess power back into the suit. It probably won't compensate for the expended energy but it could help with the problems you've been having with battery life. Let me know what you think._

_Tony_

_Any progress with the chest repulsors?_

_Tony_

_Tony,_

_I'm working on plans for it right now. Not sure I can come up with a system that can repurpose the energy quickly enough to avoid injuring you or damaging the armor. I was considering rerouting it into the arc reactor but I confess I don't feel comfortable enough with the technology to do that well. _

_I'll send more news when I have it._

_Stephen_

_Stephen,_

_You can come up to Stark Tower whenever you like if you want to work through some of the arc reactor tech. Just shoot Pepper an e-mail ahead of time._

_Tony_

_Stephen,_

_I was just tinkering with one of the older Mark suits and finally managed to incorporate fully functioning wireless. Maybe we could try running the energy re-route on my network?_

_Stephen,_

_I'm working on a new suit and I'd really love your input. Technically, it's a gift for someone so I want it to be as good as I can possibly get it. It's for Pepper. You remember her, right? Obviously, she doesn't have an arc reactor and I'm having trouble finding a suitable replacement power source. There are no other technologies that would be compact enough to fly with and even an external arc reactor is too large without, y'know, carving a hole in her chest and sticking the arc reactor there._

_Eagerly awaiting your response,_

_Tony_

_Stephen,_

_Do I have the right e-mail address?_

_Tony_

_Tony,_

_Sorry my responses have been so sparing. I've been having some trouble progressing on the kickback problem. It just requires too much thrust against your chest for underwater defense without an additional power source or rewiring the entire buffing system which is going to be way too expensive and way too time consuming. I'm sorry, Tony. I know you really wanted this to work out._

_Stephen_

_Stephen,_

_I can afford it, Stephen. How much does it look like it's going to run me?_

_Tony_

_Probably another $2 million?_

_Stephen_

_OK, come up to Stark Tower next week do I can give you the check and you can catch me up on the plans. Make sure you send an e-mail to Pepper to confirm the time and date._

_Tony_


End file.
